Sunday, July 24, 2011

Many Talented.

This weekend I was awesome.

I hit the trails on saturday morning- ran 2.5 miles (I know, it's not far, but it will do for now). I had to walk up a few hills because I am old and fat and out of shape, but otherwise the whole experience felt like breathing again after holding my breath for a long time. I forgot what it feels like to have your feet just melt into the terrain, to have your knees respond to the downhills and uphills. I have another short trail run planned for (maybe) tomorrow morning and definitely thursday with my Luna. My version of heaven involves trail runs, lakes (for Luna), and Luna, of course.

Later on Saturday, I washed my car for 2 hours because thats how long it takes to get bugs guts off a white car. I also waxed my car and cleaned the windows. My life with minor OCD.

Then I went to yoga. Then I went to bed at 10 pm.

Today I was awesome YET AGAIN PEOPLE! I went to early church and came home and GOT CRAFTY. yep. CRAFTY. whaaaaaaaaaaat.

I turned an old pair of jeans that were too short (I know, that seems impossible given my current and forever height, but I think they shrunk over the years) and turned them into skinny capri jeans. This involved a sewing machine, special thread for jeans, and special jeans needles for my sewing machine.

Step 1: Practice. I used an old shirt to make sure the whole "sewing" thing actually worked. see below. beautiful.

Step 2: I turned my jeans inside out. Then I lined up my pair of skinny jeans so that the crotch and the inside legs were neatly together. Then I made pretty marks with a purple marker where I should sew. I also made marks where I wanted the capri cuts to be made.
Step 3: I sewed along the line. Then tried on my jeans and realized they were just too tight around the calves. So I took out the long stitch I made and started over with a new wider mark.

Step 4. I pinned my future seams because my jeans had a tendency to bunch up. Then I sewed. Though my lines aren't perfect, they will do.

Step 5: I sewed the hems. I pinned my hems first. I kept the stitches "straight" by keeping the edge of the foot along the outside of my hem.
The hems, again, aren't perfect. But who cares?
I am freakin Martha Stewart with vibrams and a yoga mat.
Check this shit out.
What's up, playas?
After I finished my craft, which took me two hours even though the blog I read that told me how to do it said it would take 20 minutes, I washed my "mom's" car (mom is in quotation marks because really it is my roommate's mom, but she is letting me live in their house this summer and I call her mom). Her car only took 20 minutes because the bugs came off her car with just a whisper.

Then I went to yoga. And now I am blogging. And I painted my nails while I wrote this blog post.

Be amazed.

Ultra Love.

Monday, July 18, 2011

You think you know....

Raise your hand if anyone has ever said to you, "hot yoga/ regular yoga/ultra running/running is dangerous/bad for you!"

I swear. Who are these people? Why do they think they know anything about anything? Mostly I think they are just jealous of my cute running skirts and my fashionable yoga booty shorts, but other times, I wonder if they are just dumb. Tell me, what "exercise" could be more natural (obviously natural is a LOADED term, but just go with it here) than running or yoga?

The only other sport(s) that fall in this category would be swimming (but you have to eliminate the chlorine pools because let's face it, no one is meant to smell like that. people are, however, meant to wear spandex. fact. it's in the bible.) or gymnastics (but again, this is limited to the floor exercises and only floor exercises on a grassy field because real life doesn't have a trampoline floor) and dancing. by God, there will be dancing.

Football? Hell no.
Basketball? (as much as i LOVE it- no. mostly because you can get smacked in the face with a basketball. we all know that does not qualify as something your body was born to do.)
(** currently withholding many inappropriate jokes**)
Shotput? Polo? Tennis? Soccer? Rowing? (i know from personal experience that rowing is for prisoners and anyone who deserves torture)
Wrestling? (no again- ring worm. and violence.)

It's not that these sports are bad in anyway. or un fun. or un human. It's just that you can't wake up in the morning and say, "hmmmmm, lemme use my body and go do this stuff." I could run naked if i needed to. I could do yoga naked if I wanted to -- (side note- there are naked yoga classes. deep question of the day- would you want to be in the front of the class or the back of the class? think about it). Other sports require lots of stuff. It's not that "stuff" makes a sport bad, it's just that I don't understand how "exercise" that requires only the body is dangerous or bad for you. I will ALWAYS hold the opinion that any exercise can be bad for you if you are stupid about it.

Harry Potter Comparison- Skip this if you don't understand.
WHen i am running or doing yoga, I feel like I am in Book 4 in the graveyard of Little Hangleton when Voldy and Harry's wands connect and they have this electric current running between and around them. Except that I feel as if I am connecting to all the worlds before me, all the people right now, and all the humans to come. These are two instinctual activities- connections to past, present, and future. Kinda like old stones steps that have been worn down by centuries of feetsies.


I don't understand why people think that something so basic as running or something so fluid as yoga would be bad for you. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you are more likely to come away damaged from years of football (brain damage) or tennis (my mom has no cartilage left in her knees and my brother has had 2 knee surgeries). If i have children, not only are they wearing ear plugs everyday of their life, but they are also forbidden to play contact sports. Running only. I'm gonna be that mom who says, here son/daughter/perhaps ungendered child-- put on your vibrams and go run up that mountain in our backyard with your Auntie Sabrina and then let's dance around in our underwear for a while and THEN we can do yoga before bed to calm down and make sure you can touch your toes when you are 60 years old.

I will be the best mom ever.

And the rest of the world- the people who sit on their bumbum all day long telling other people that yoga and running are bad/dangerous for you- will NOT be the best mom ever.

The end. Stepping off my soapbox. and giving you a puppy picture to make things happy.
Ultra Love.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011



Obviously, it isn't perfect. But it is a start. That is the beauty of this yoga- you can always make progress.
1. I need to get my elbows lower. more below my calf muscles.
2. I need to get my toes angled back more towards my face.
3. #2 can be accomplished along with #3. I need to kick out my heel which will also get my hips more in line.
4. As I get better, my spine will be more curved- particularly my lower spine.

Also, I thought I would post two other poses that show ALOT of my progress.

This is the "Japanese Ham Sandwich" pose. When I first started this pose, I could barely get my hands behind my calves enough to grab my heels. Now I am pretty close to locking my knees. The entire goal of this posture is to smush your body together so there is no room for light or air-- with your smiling happy face (which you cant see in this picture! but it is there- I swear!)

This last pose is the "stretching" part of "separate head to knee with stretching pose." When I started this pose, I could not even get my legs flat on the floor. after 9 months I FINALLY got my legs locked. However, it wasn't until this summer that I started making progress bending my elbows. SEE?!?!?!?!

Before I close this post, just take a minute to appreciate the cleanliness of this studio. Doesn't it look so sanitary? Heaven.

I hope everyone is making progress in whatever they are doing. Especially Sabrina.

Ultra love.

PS. I made my handsome and health conscious boyfriend run barefoot. Totally made my LIFE.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Life Lessons Learned Watching a Bikram Newbie

The other day, there was a new guy name Frank who showed up for class. Frank did everything wrong. Everything. The underlying cause was that Frank didn't listen. That is usually the cause of the problems facing newbies. While I watched Frank act a fool, Ludacris style, in the front row, I was enlightened with a fair bit of life insight.

1. Many things in life involve steps. Sometimes many steps. To get to step D, you must go through steps A, B, and C. Here is the important part: If you cant do step A well, you best not be moving on to step B. AND you sure as hell better not be trying step C or D. Otherwise, you will either hurt yourself or look like an idiot. It is true in yoga. It is true in regular life. If you don't lock your standing knee, you shouldn't be kicking out with your other leg. If you don't know how to play chords, you shouldn't up on stage playing guitar in concert.

2. Quit making noise. Shut up. Really. Making noise only complicates things. It makes you more hot, more tired, uses up the energy you need, and irritates other people. Same thing in regular life. Whatever metaphorical noise you are making is most likely distracting you from what is really important, and in the process, it is pissing off everyone in your path.

3. Your drama isn't special. No matter how hot you think you are. No matter how much you think you are going to pass out. Your drama has happened before to someone else, and it will happen again. Get over yourself. The minute you do, you will quit making excuses for whatever drama you think you've got going on and actually get to doing yoga or living life.

4. Love your body. If you spend time looking at that parts that you don't like, pondering fat pudgies, or criticizing things here and there, you won't notice how fantastic it is that your body is starting to get deeper into that back bend. You won't see how strong your legs are. You will miss the balance you have developed. If you love your body, you will love yourself.

5. Don't give up. Frank tried to leave the room. The heat is intense. Ask anyone who has tried bikram. But you can make it through. Not all of life is puppies and rainbows (thought having a Luna around thorooughly increases your odds of continuous puppies and rainbows)-- but you can make it through the rough stuff if you are just still and take time to breathe.